I am back from my long long holiday. I have had time to think and contemplate how my first year in campus went, and am just waiting to go back and start my second year.
okay, here goes, just how do relationships work? I mean, like how long do you date someone before you finally start making out? Is it the first opportunity you get alone? Or don't you think you should know second names first? Besides, what if you don't want to have sex (ok, u do but yuou know u shouldn't or u know u should at least wait) but u still wanna make out? for how long will you make out without actually having sex? a year? 4 years? it's just crazy.
besides, am sure every girl (or guy) wants the first time to be special, not in some dingy room in the college hostel where u are afraid of screaming out incase walls have ears? they actually do..some chick sleeps with some guy and the following day the whole campus knows.
or perhaps he takes u to the privacy of his room at home coz his paroz are out of town, but shish..it is his parents house and if they come back before time, u hide in the closet? that just ain't right...
or some hotel room. except at this stage...most guys are just not that moneyed, so u will probably end up in some dingy lodging, making the sex just cheap...and somehow dirty like u a hooker or something...
what about the endless warnings that ur mum never fails to give whenever she calls? they always pop into your head. never mind the bible teachings about waiting for marriage, don't u feel like a pretender, hypocrite when u are sleeping around yet u still go to church? doesn't God condemn sex before marriage?
ok, so u meet a guy u like, u have some sort of date..not those stuff of eating at a fancy restaurant with rules n expensive meals (that could pay my accomodation for the whole semester), but more like oily fries and drumsticks from kenchic, and maybe a movie....or most likely inter-campus visits, he comes over, u go to his place...how long do u wait before sleeping with a guy? and don't say on the third date...i mean, he should be hunter, right? am sure they wont appreciate prey that just gives in...so anyway, what's to stop him from leaving once he's slept with u? wasn't that his goal from the beginning?
am so f***ing confused. besides, am i supposed to wait till i marry before..u know... what if i get married at 28?
of course, am so afraid of getting paged, stds (they are so many, some with no symptoms in guys but in chicks and vice versa..some are untreatable) or who can forget HIV? then there are the contraceptives. condoms just seem cheap, they burst (am told their success rate is 99%, but what if am the 0ne percent? someone had to account for it, right?), and i don't think i can be popping a pill everyday...it just seems so much work n worry for so little pleasure..('course don't know how much pleasure coz u know am yet to try it..)
isn't it much easier to just abstain? except abstaining is not that easy either.
P.S.
as u answer, do u mind sharing ur first experiences in not so many words? or when u think the right time. do u wish u had waited? a different time? a different person? answer honestly and help a sister out....
